Since I was a child, I have dealt with health issues. In high school they began to worsen and still no answers. Now, 12 years after high school, I am still dealing with the health issues plus some.
For the last 6 months, I have been unable to work due to the health unknown. Let me recap what exactly happened.
Last spring while working for USPS as a rural carrier, my symptoms became more aggressive. Something I couldn’t ignore and continue to fight through as normal. If my body temperature over heated a tad bit, I’d feel nauseated, weak, dizzy, and out of it mentally. I wasn’t able to finish my route or get in and out of the car. Which was beyond frustrating for me! I am very independent and want to be the best at all my job positions. Due to the health issues, I had to leave the postal service and take a receptionist position at a local dealership.
Things began to get better. Being in a controlled setting and less stress, I think it may have reduce the symptoms. Plus I LOVE TO TALK! Receptionist talks all day on the phone or with clients. I fit in well I’d say. My passion for vehicles kinda paid off as well, since it was a big topic as a dealership. Who knew, right?! HAHA!
The managers began noticing that I knew a good bit about the vehicles and was able to communicate with anyone. I felt like they recruited the entire dealership to get me to sell cars. UHH! After a few weeks, I caved in and agreed to try to sell for 3 months. If I didn’t like it, I could get the receptionist position back. There were a few things that weren’t mentioned when convincing me to sell cars.
1. I’d be walking a lot and in the heat.
2. Moving cars is involved, which includes heat and heat in the hot cars.
3. Riding in the back seat of cars with clients test drove them.
(Carsick and scared for my life)
4. If it rains and someone pulls up on the lot, the girls goes out and needs the sell.
HELLO, MY HAIR IS FRIZZY AND SHORT!
5. It required most nights and every Saturday.
Y’all it was rough to say the least at first. My biggest issues was the heat. I would get sooooo weak from it, but too stubborn to tell anyone. One night I had to leave work a little early to sing in sign language for a church revival. I had been hot and could tell I was having a flare up that day. Calling to warn my cousin, who is pastor’s wife of the church, to tell her that I may not be able to do all three songs as planned. When I got down there I was feeling somewhat better, yet not 100%. Walking in, my cousin’s son saw me swaying and almost fell. He grabbed my arms to help steady me to the pew. Being me, I was fine and got this! When it was my time to sing, I was able to complete two songs, and left immediately to drive 45 minutes home.
After that I seem to get much better, for a few weeks.
Then randomly one day I began feeling off. I couldn’t concentrate or function, like my brain wouldn’t act right. Weakness, dizziness, and nauseated came and went throughout each day or that week. Of course I wasn’t going to tell anyone, I hate letting it win, so I push through as much as I can. It started on the Tuesday of that week. On that Sunday, I was driving to church (30 minutes away), still feeling off balance and out of it mentally, yet being hard headed. While in Sunday school class, others could tell I was out of it and not myself. They said they saw me swaying, staring off, not talking, sweating some, etc. Right after class I went straight home, didn’t stop for food or anything.
The next day is the most beautiful day aka Monday! (all sarcasm) Plus it was the last week of the month which is a wonderful time in the car business. HA!
When I awoke that Monday morning, all the symptoms I had the day before had worsened. It’s mandatory for everyone to work the last week of the month, plus I wanted to meet my sales goal. Taking the day off was out of the question.
Normally I’d go into work and talk to people before our meeting in sales. Not that morning, I went straight into the conference room and laid my head down until others got there. I have no clue what we talked about or who was in there, but I was there. After the meeting was over, I went to sit in the showroom waiting for someone to enter the lot. Sitting up there for a while, I was getting very dizzy and nauseated. Before anyone could tell how sick I was becoming, I darted to the restroom. Almost 40 minutes later, a customer found that I had fallen out in the big stall. Needless to say, I was sent to the doctor and home.
Since, I haven’t been able to work nor drive. I was falling so much from becoming weak and dizzy that I was required to use a walker or a walking cane. UM HELLO! I am 29 years old, so I quickly chose a cane. My symptoms have been coming and going. Frustrated isn’t even close to explaining how I have felt. My mom and family have been paying my bills, which is the worse part for myself.
At this point, I refuse to use the cane and beginning to find employment again. Yet every time an opportunity comes up, my health doesn’t allow me to go. Just because I’m walking better or smiling, doesn’t mean I’m well or better. It means I am a master at disguising my pains and issues. The Invisible.
Invisible in Reality 