The older I became, the more difficult my daily struggles were becoming. You are probably thinking, well of course you are an adult. No, I mean health struggles.
KEEP YOUR GALLBLADDER!! If you don’t want to get sick when you eat and have to change your diet definitely keep it. Also if using public restrooms or going on the side of the road isn’t your cup of tea, I’d suggest trying to keep it. Oh staying around a restroom for a while after eating is a must as well. HAHA! Y’all the struggle with that alone is real!
I have always been a planner. I could tell you what my week or weekend plans were going to involve. Now not so much. I have to go with the flow, because my days vary. Today for an example, I was having a good day and was able to get a few things done here at home. This afternoon my sister and I even went to walk. I walked .7 miles at a fast pace, that is a huge accomplishment considering my circumstances.
This evening was a different story. While swinging in a hammock chair, I started to get warm and motion sickness (Nauseated, light headed, dizzy, extremely weak, brain fog). Walking inside the house I almost fell and had to sit for a while to regain strength. Finally inside at the kitchen table, I sat until the food was ready. I was able to fix my plate, but had to go slowly. After eating and playing dominoes, the tea needed to be made before I went to my bedroom. Pouring the little bit of tea left in the pitcher into the sink, I was shaking and it went down the counter. Grabbing a towel to bend and wipe the tea up, I was stuck. I had no strength to pull myself back up and just sat on the floor.
When this happens I don’t ask for help. I get frustrated! I hate not being able to do these simple things alone. I refuse to lose! I will sit there as long as I have to until my strength comes back. Yet there are times where I have laid on the floor not able to control my body. I have urinated and drooled on myself, waiting on someone to find and help me. I try not to allow people to see how badly it gets sometimes. I don’t want to be thought of as that 
girl with issues, I want to be known as the girl who over came her battle or the girl who used it for good.
These “Spells” as I call them, come and go all throughout the day. Some I am able to hide and some couldn’t hide even with an elephant in front of me. So my days plans change suddenly and throughout the day. It frustrates me to tears and depression.
Currently I’ve been out of work for about 6 months, and my family pays my bills. I have went to interviews and prayed to God that if I’m ready and He wants me at work to open the door for me. Each time the door cracks open, my health improves for a few days and then I hit rock bottom again. God must see the larger picture and know I’m not ready yet. I have been selling personal items and finding any way I can to help pay my bills. With that being said, I don’t want to have to get on disability, so I will continue to push myself to get back into work.
With these daily struggles, I know I can handle them with God along my side. He always provides to those who are faithful. Yet I am human and will break sometimes. My family and friends are amazing and pray for me to overcome this. If you see me walking perfectly fine then a few hours later using my walking cane, don’t judge. We never know what people are facing in life. Be kind and supportive to all those you come in contact with.
Invisible in Reality 